| The Sniglet | The Pronunciation | The Definition |
| OATGAP | oht' gap | The empty space in a cereal box creatd by "settling during shipment." |
| OPLING | oh' pling | The act, when feeding a baby, of opening and closing one's mouth, smacking one's lips and making "yummy" noises, in the hope that baby will do the same. |
| OPTORTIONIST | op tor' shun ist | The kid in school who can turn his eyelids inside out. |
| OROGAMI | or oh ga' mee | The miraculous folding process that allows Kleenexes to methodically emerge from the box one at a time. |
| OROSUCTUOUS | or oh suk' chew us | Being able to hold a glass to one's face by sheer lung power. |
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| PEDIDDEL | de did' ul | A car with only one working headlight. (Related to LEDDIDEP: a car with only one working tailight.) |
| PEDLOCK | ped' lahk | The condition of a bicycle pedal wedging itself against the kickstand. |
| PELP | pelp | The crumbs and food particles that accumulate in the cracks of dining tables. |
| PENCIVENTILATION | pen si ven ti lay' shun | The act of blowing on the tip of a pencil after sharpening it. |
| PERCUBURP | per' kyu berp | The final gasp a coffee percolator makes to alert you it is ready. |
| PETRIBAR | pet' ri bar | Any sun-bleached prehistoric candy that has been sitting in the window of a vending machine too long. |
| PETROOL | pet' rul | The slow, seemingly endless strand of motor oil at the end of the can. |
| PEWTONE | pyu tone' | (chemical symbol: Pu) A major atmospheric component of towns with paper mills. |
| PHISTEL | fis' tul | The brake pedal on the passenger side of the car that you wish existed when you're riding with a lunatic. |
| PHONESIA | fo nee' zhuh | The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer. |
| PHOSFLINK | fos' flink | To flick a bulb on and off when it burns out (as if, somehow, that will bring it back to life). |
| PHOTOYOKEL | fo to yo' kul | A person who presses the wrong button on a film camera causing it to dismantle. |
| PHOZZLE | fo' zul | The buildup of dust on a record needle. |
| PICKLETTULANCE | pik ul et' yu lans | The ability to remember the entire family's order at a fast-ffod restaurant. |
| PIFFLESQUIT | pif' ul skwit | The wire net surrounding the cork of a champagne bottle. |
| PILLSBURGLAR | pilz' berg ler | Person able to sample the icing on a new cake weithout leaving a fingerprint. |
| PIYAN | pi' an | (acronym: "Plus If You Act Now") Any miscellaneous item thrown in on a late night television ad. (Example: a pitchman trying to sell an all purpose carving knife..."it's the only knife you'll ever need. Plus if you act now, this complete set of steak knives...") |
| POINT BLIMFARK | poynt blim' fark | The point at which the wheels on a stagecoach appear to turn in the opposite direction. |
| PORKUS NON GRATIS | por' kus non grat' is | The scraggly piece of bacon at the bottom of the package. |
| PREMBLEMEMBLEMATION | prim blum em blum ay' shun | Whenever you drop a letter in the mailbox, you always re-check to make sure its gone down. |
| PROFANITYPE | pro fan' i tipe | The special symbols used by cartoonists to replace swear words (points, asterisks, stars, and so on). It is yet to be determined which specific character represents which specific expletive. |
| PSYCHOPHOBIA | sy ko fo' be uh | The compulsion, when using a host's bathroom, to peer behind the shower curtain and make sure no one is waiting for you. |
| PUPKUS | pup' kus | The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it. |
| PURPITATION | per pi tay' shun | To take something off the grocery shelf, decide you don't want it, and then put it in another section. |
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| RETROCARBONIC | ret ro kar bon' ik | Any drink machine that dispenses the soda before the cup. |
| RICEROACH | rys' rohch | The burnt krispie in every bowl of Rice Krispies. |
| RIGNITION | rig ni' shun | The embarrassing action of trying to start one's car with the engine already running. |
| ROCKTOSE | rok' tohs | The hard lumps that block the pouring spouts of sugar dispensers. |
| ROVALERT | ro' val urt | The system whereby one dog can quickly establish an entire neighborhood network of barking. |
| RUBUNCLES | ru' bunk ulz | The bumps on an uncooked chicken. |
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| SARK | sark | The marks left on one's ankle after wearing tube socks all day. |
| SCADINK | ska' dink | The annoying buildup of ink on the end of a ball-point pen. |
| SCANDROIDS | skan' droydz | The striped price codes which mysteriously began appearing on consumer products a few years ago. |
| SCHLATTWHAPPER | shlat' wap ur | The window shade that allows itself to be pulled down, hesitates for a second, then snaps up in your face. |
| SCHNUFFEL | shnuf' ul | A dog's practice of continuously nuzzling your crotch in mixed company. |
| SCRABITCH | skrahb' ich | Impossible-to-reach area in middle of back which can never be scratched. |
| SCRIBLINE | skrib' line | The blank area on the back of credit cards where one's signature goes. |
| SCRIT | skrit | Anything that's been in the same place for at least fifty years without being used, such as the archaic bottles of hair tonic on a barber's counter. |
| SHIRTLOP | shurt' lahp | The condition of a shirt that had been improperly buttoned. |
| SHOEFLY | shew' fliy | The aeronautical terminology for a football player who misses the punt and launches his shoe instead. |
| SHUGGLEFTULATION | shug lef tuyl ay' shun | The actions of two people approching, trying to get around each other, and muttering "thanks for the dance." |
| SIRLINES | sir' lines | The lines on a grilled steak. |
| SLACKJAM | slak' jam | The condition of being trapped in one's own trousers while trying to pull them on without first removing shoes. |
| SLOOPAGE | slu' paj | The tendency of hot dogs, hamburgers, and sandwich contents to slip from between their covers. |
| SLOTGREED | slot' greed | The habit of checking every coin return one passes for change. |
| SLURM | slerm | The slime that accumulates on the underside of a soap bar when it sits in the dish too long. |
| SLUTURES | slew' chers | The four white threads that protrude from Levis after the tag has been removed. |
| SNIFFLERIDGE | snif' ul rij | Trough leading from the nose to upper lip. |
| SNORFING | snorf' ing | The little game waitresses love to play of waiting until your mouth is full before sneaking up and asking, "Is everything okay?" |
| SPAGMUMPS | spag' mumps | Any of the millions of Styrofoam wads that accompany mail-order items. (Also, SPAGBULLIONS: custom fitted Styrofoam blocks that accompany stereo equipment. |
| SPECLUMS | spek' lums | The miniscule bumps on a strawberry. |
| SPERAWS | sper' awz | The pinched marks on the end of hot dogs. |
| SPIBBLE | spib' ul | The metal barrier on a rotary phone that prevents you from dialing past zero. |
| SPIROBITS | spy' ro bits | The frayed bits of left-behind paper in a spiral notebook. |
| SPIRTLE | spur' tul | The fine stream from grapefruit that always lands right in your eye. |
| SPORK | spork | The combination spoon/fork you find in fast-food restaurants. |
| SPRATCHETT | spra' chit | The rubber car at a checkout counter that separates one load of groceries from another. |
| SPUBBLING | spub' ling | The superhuman feat of trying to wash one's hands and manipulate the "water saving" faucets at the same time. |
| SQUALKEENUS | skwal ke' nus | The shock syndrome that comes from biting into a popsicle with one's front teeth. |
| SQUATCHO | skwatch' oh | (another useless sniglet) The button at the top of a baseball cap. |
| STROODLE | stru' dul | The annoying strand of cheese stretching from a slice of hot pizza to one's mouth. |
| STRUMBLE | strum' bul | That invisible object you always pretend made you trip, when it was actually your own stupid clumsiness. |
| STURP | sterp | To pin down a runaway piece of paper or currency with one's foot before the wind blows it away. |
| SUBNOUGATE | sub new' get | To eat the bottom caramels in a candy box and carefully replace the top level, hoping no one will notice. |
| SUCCUBEEBISH | suk yu be' bish | The gelatinous substance found surrounding canned hams and Vienna sausages. |
| SUPERFLUHOLES | sup ur flew' holz | (another useless sniglet) The phony holes on speaker covers, put there to match the ones that actually surround the speaker. |
| SWAZNA | swaz' nuh | The thin, disgusting membrane that connects the bottom of the tongue to the top of the jaw, presumably to hold it in place. |
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| TELECRASTINATION | tel e kras tin ay' shun | The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away. |
| TELEPRESSION | tel e pre' shun | The deep-seated guilt which stems from knowing that you did not try hard enough to "look up the number on your own" and instead put the burden on the directory assistant. |
| THERMALOPHOBIA | thur muh lo fo' be uh | The fear when showering that someone will sneak in, flush the toilet, and scald you to death. |
| THERNOT | ther' nut | The cardboard tod on a hanger that prevents creasing in pants. |
| THRICKLE | thri' kel | The itch in the back of the throat which can't be scratched without making disgusting barnyard-type noises. |
| TIEFRIGHT | ty' fryt | The fear that no matter which way you turn the twist-tie on a loaf of bread, it is the wrong direction. |
| TILE COMET | tyl kom' it | Any streamer of toilet paper attached to your heel as you emerge from a public restroom. |
| TIREQUILLS | tyr' kwils | The small rubbery protrustions on new tires. |
| TOASTATE | tohs' tayt | To impatiently pop toast up and down in the toaster, thus increasing the likelihood of burning it. |
| TOLLOAF | toe' lohf | Act of missing a toll basket and having to climb out of your car to retrieve the coin. |
| TRITZ | trits | The holes in saltine crackers. |
| TWINCH | twinch | The movement a dog makes with its head when it hears a high-pitched noise. |
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| UFLUATION | yu flu ay' shun | The peculiar habit, when searching for a snack of constantly returning to the refrigerator in hopes that something new will have materialized. |
| UHFAGE | uff' aj | The unit for determining a television's age, that is, the amount of time it takes for the picture to appear once the set has been turned on. |
| UPULS | yu' puls | The blank pages at the beginning and end of books, presumably placed there so you can rewrite the ending. |
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| VULCANT | vul' kant | (chemical symbol: Vu) The stale air that emanates from a flat tire. |
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| WARBLOID | war' bloyd | The tiny device in cassette players that eats tapes. |
| WATTBOBBLE | wat' bah bul | To remove a hot light bulb by turning it several seconds, letting your fingers cool, then repeating the process. This is generally followed by the glorious revelation of using your shirttail. |
| WERXILATION | wurks ul ay' shun | The property of some screen doors to start to slam shut only to catch themselves at the last moment and "float" to a gentle close. |
| WILY'S LAW | wi' leez law | The only known exception to Newton's Law of Gravity, Wily's Law states that an animal or person can suspend himself in midair provided (a) he is in a cartoon, and (b) he doesn't look donw and realize he is no longer on solid ground. |
| WONDRACIDE | wun' druh side | The act of murdering a piece of bread with a knife and cold butter. |
| WURBLET | wer' blit | The line of moisture on one's trousers that comes from leaning against a wet counter in a public restroom. |
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| XEOPSKZU | xeop' skzu | Any word formed when typewriter keys jam together. |
| XIIDIGITATION | ksi dij i tay' shun | The practice of trying to determine the year a movie or TV show was made by deciphering the roman numerals at the end of the credits. |
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| YARDRIBBONS | yard rib' onz | The unmowed patches of grass discovered after one has put away the mower. |
| YORANGE | yawr' anj | Those disgusting white threads that hang from an orange after it has been peeled. |
| YINK | yinc | One strand of hair that covers the bald spot. |
| YINKEL | yin' kul | A person who combs his hair over his bald spot, hoping no one will notice. |
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| ZIBULA | zi' bew luh | The plastic spine which model car parts come attached to. |
| ZIMETER | zi' me tur | (a unit of measure) The last four or five inches of tape measure that never rewind automatically. |
| ZIPPLE | zi' pul | A broken poptop on a beer or soda can. |
| ZIZZEBOTS | zi' ze botz | The marks on the bridge of one's nose visible when glasses are removed. |
| ZYXNOID | ziks' noyd | Any word that a crossword puzzler makes up to complete the last blank, accompanied by the rationalization that there probably is an ancient god named Ubbbu, or German river named Wfor, and besides, who's going to check? |
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