- "So, what are you wearing?"
- Talk so quietly they can't hear you.
- "I'm sorry, but this phone is for personal calls only. The boss won't let us use it for business."
- "Have you heard about that study showing that it can cause impotence to sit all day with a telephone receiver next to your head?"
- When they ask to speak with you, say "Just a moment," and give the phone to your six-year old child to carry on the conversation.
- Pretend to be very interested in their product and then quite calmly and earnestly inquire, "Yes, but can it make a six minute casserole?"
- "I am truly sorry but the moon is in the seventh house of Pluto and my astrologer would just die if I bought something now."
- "This isn't a recording. Beep.
This isn't a recording. Beep."