This is the message the local High School Staff voted to they would most like to record on their school telephone answering system. Too bad they can't actually use it. I've seen e-mails claiming this is what they actually recorded for their answering system. The truth is, there was never a vote on what to use. Rather, someone came up with this joke and the teachers and staff agreed it would be funny to use on their system. The biggest problem is that the school does not have menu when you call. Since they are local to me, I've actually called them. A real live person, or one of the teenagers working in the office answers the phone. Regardless, it would be a great message for just about any school!
"Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting the right staff member, please listen to all your options before making a selection:-
To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1
To make excuses for why your child did not do his work - Press 2
To complain about what we do - Press 3
To swear at staff members - Press 4
To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you -Press 5
If you want us to raise your child - Press 6
If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7
To request another teacher for the third time this year - Press 8
To complain about bus transportation - Press 9
To complain about school lunches - Press 0
If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/ her own behavior, class work, homework, and that it's not the teachers' fault for your children's lack of effort... hang up and have a nice day!"