My first job was working in an orange juice factory,
but I got canned...couldn't concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack,
but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.
After that I tried to be a tailor,
but I just wasn't suited for it --
mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
Next I tried working in a muffler factory,
but that was too exhausting.
Then I tried to be a chef.
I figured it would add a little spice to my life
but I just didn't have the thyme.
I attempted to be a deli worker,
but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
My best job was being a musician,
but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy enough.
I studied a long time to become a doctor,
but I didn't have any patience.
Next was a job in a shoe factory.
I tried, but I just didn't fit in.
I became a professional fisherman,
but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company,
but the work was just too draining.
So then I got a job in a workout center,
but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
I finally got a job as a historian --
until I realized there was no future in it.
My last job was working at Starbucks,
but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
So I retired...and found I am perfect for the job!