Useless thoughts
- A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
- If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
- If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
- Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
- What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald
men?
- I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
- I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me ... They were cramming for their finals.
- I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks, so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?
- Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?
- How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
- If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?
- If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
- Go ahead and take risks....just be sure that everything will turn out OK.
- If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
- Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
- If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
- I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone. I said, "The whole time."
- So what's the speed of dark?
- Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
- If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
- Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
- Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
- Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
- Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
- How come abbreviated is such a long word?
- If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
- Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
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